The last while I’ve been hearing a lot of women complain about being out of balance. These are powerful women driven to achieve in business and are also juggling many other roles like mom, wife, and friend. They also recognize the need for time for themselves. It is a fast paced, stressful world most days. I totally relate.
So, here is a little secret. Balance or rather the result – harmony – is an inner game to play first, before we can have it “out there”.
By honoring and accepting who we are as women at our core – feminine essence, we will achieve more. (I acknowledge that one’s gender and predominant essence are not always the same so I simply invite you to play with what I write.)
As we have had to enter a “man’s world” of competition and control, we’ve gained on many fronts yet we’ve lost some of who we are by nature. We have been seeking our way back to ourselves.
The feminine within each of us is about Being.
It is creative, yet allows life to flow and grow at it’s own pace – just as a child grows within our womb. Such great strength and yet there is vulnerability in that as well. The feminine knowingness, allows us be more relaxed, gracefully slower and we easily allow life to come through us. We spend little energy in effortless creation when letting inspiring newness simple “be”.
Now, the masculine is about Doing.
It’s action-oriented and goal-oriented, driven to win when challenged, designed to be the protector and provider – to take charge and control the outcomes. At an extreme it is aggressive in nature, when in balance visionary and purposeful and a solid safe-haven. It stays the course.
Both are within each of us, both serve us.
It’s just one is more our natural state of being. For myself, I long for more of my feminine nature to shine through – it really feels right to be that and yet I admit oftentimes, I’ve found myself over planning, over analyzing and just plain “over doing it!”
Here’s my experiment.
I’ve been very intentionally allowing myself to be more in my feminine power. It’s also meant allowing me to be vulnerable to the unknown, and learning to trust more. I chose to relinquish control in knowing how things were going to go. .It certainly felt kind of scary, yet there was a rush of excitement there as well. Now stop for a moment and think about this: Isn’t it one of life’s greatest pleasures to just let go?
What are the results?
So far, from my experiment of surrendering more into my feminine element, I noticed, I have been more peaceful and fun to be around. Coming from a place of just “knowing”, I’ve felt more trusting and safer. Magically, more and more opportunities have come my way without me “hunting” for them. My creative energy is flowing and I’m having more inspiring business ideas “pop” into existence easily. Overall, it’s been beautifully calming and delightful to watch as things unfold.
And I’m looking forward to more.
What is your experience?
Thank you Julie for another thought provoking post. It is something that resonates with me in a very personal way with the struggles I have had with my gender dysphoria. And having this journey in coming to terms with my gender has blessed me with a rather unique perspective. For years, I felt shame and was shamed for the feminine within. Not anymore, for it has become the source of my strength.
Balance is the key to everything, or perhaps more appropriately, the word is equilibrium, as defined by Wikipedia, it is ” the condition of a system in which competing influences are balanced.” And in the human equation those competing influences are the masculine and the feminine. Whether male or female these influences are in competition with one another in varying degrees, and no two people are alike. And, i think it is fair to say that men as well as women, have been dominated by the masculine, particularly in western society, where the fight for equality for some has resulted in the false belief that women had to become more like men and discarded their femininity like a dirty rag . Of course one of the dominant reasons for this is that we live in a male dominated society that perceived the feminine as second class to such a degree that the dominant western religion has been at war with the feminine for 2000 years. This war against women also put the genders as opposition to one another rather than equal partners cooperating together. It even went so far as to apply an unfair value system, suggesting that being masculine is strong while being feminine is considered weak. It so idealized the masculine that men lost touch with their feminine self, and as the dominant force of society, it can be put to task for much of what is wrong with society.
As individuals, it is beholden upon us, men and women alike, to explore our femininity more. This intuitive, creative nurturing self, is in my opinion paramount to our survival as a species upon this planet. These three elements of the feminine are so necessary to lead us into the 21st century and seem to be so lacking in the institutions that make society function. The result of this imbalance has resulted in much environmental degradation for profit and even worse, the notion of war as a means for profit.
So there is much need for society to seek the feminine within itself for there to be balance. This of course can only be achieved through the intentions and actions of individuals like you and me, for what is good for the individual is good for society. We need to recognize that the genders are not opposite of each other, but complimentary of one another, and that through balance comes synergy, peace and harmony.
By: Frederick on January 24, 2011
at 9:52 am
Frederick – Thank you for being so open and honest.
You are so insightful and refreshing – a gift of Truth.
I especially loved about your definition of equilibrium – the two competing essences seeking balance. I would like to offer what if there was no competition? What then, but a blending and joining of forces from a place of honoring the gifts of the other. Of leaning into the others wisdom. A true marriage of Lover’s.
Until we embrace all aspects of ourselves and accept in love all of Who We Are – yes there is inner turmoil, resist and at worst self-hate.
And YES – the world is in need of more of the feminine and We, hearing the call are answering. Many good things are coming.
Blessings Frederick!
By: Julie on January 24, 2011
at 10:10 am
Very Beautiful Julie. A wonderful way of expressing your thoughts so everyone can understand. Well done!
By: Lloyd on January 24, 2011
at 4:32 pm
Thanks Lloyd!
By: Julie on January 24, 2011
at 6:09 pm